Yes, I've been tongue-tied a time or two (ahem, yes, I can be at a loss for words sometimes). But, I keep working out my social skills. And I’m not talking about working out like you think – I am talking about working out your conversation starters, small talk skills, and especially your confidence. Being comfortable in
social situations is the key to being able to interact and communicate as effectively as possible. We aren't born with the ability to start conversations and keep the small talk going -- it takes practice!
Getting stuck at home or away from social situation during the last year or so may have you rusty when socializing. Maybe you've always had a challenging time with starting conversation or small talk. Let's start this workout with a warm up by making conversation with people that 'don't matter' -- those you have no commitment to and no connection. For example, engage the cashier at the grocery
store or server at the restaurant. Do this in every situation, and you will get better at interacting with people. The more practice, the better you'll get.
If you feel out of sorts or out of place when you are forced to interact, sit back and relax while taking everything else in. Learn about those around you, and then when you feel ready, engage them in conversation. But the best way to practice is to small talk with these people who 'don't matter.' So, how do you actually get the conversation started?
My #1 recommendation for starting a conversation is to ask, "So, what’s your story?"It works like a charm! Asking this question lets people take it and run with it – they can tell you about their job, their hobbies, what they do in their free time ... whatever. Once they get into it, you can ask questions
which leads to more questions -- information nugget after information nugget. From there, they can tell you whatever they want, and then you can ask questions. From there you can ask another question or go back to the original statement they said. It’s a cycle!
More Secret Ways to Get the Conversation Rolling!
PIZZA! Approach and ask, "Who has the best pizza around here?"
Observe the person & find out what you have in common. Formulate a question surrounding the commonality.
Ask what type of phone they're using and details about the device.
Ask about their weekend - if Monday or Tuesday, ask about the past weekend. If Thursday or Friday, ask about the upcoming weekend. Wednesday is a wild card.
Simply inquire, "How is your day going?"
When you see them looking at certain things and observe their facial expressions, comment about what you notice that they notice.
Give them a compliment to engage them and then keep them going.
Now that you have the conversation started, we need to jam out some super-sets so we're strong enough to keep the convo rolling. If you ask enough questions and really listen after the initial conversation starter, you can find something you have in common and then talk about that to keep the conversation rolling. Also when the topic progresses into things you or they are
passionate about, the conversation will flow. It’s easy to talk about what you’re passionate about! Another easy small talk idea is talking about social media. Everyone watches YouTube but everybody doesn’t watch the same YouTube. So simply ask, "Who do you watch on YouTube?"
Your form is important when working out your small talk. You need to make eye contact and listen more than you speak. Look people in the eye as looking around makes them think they're less important. And always stick to upbeat topics, being prepared to ask questions. You can be prepared by thinking of conversation starters ahead of the situation/event. Do NOT lead the conversation with the
subject of weather. Come on, you can do better than that! And do NOT use gossip as small talk. You never know who you're talking to.
Remembering people's names is one of the most important small talk skills you can develop. I have all kinds of tricks I use, which the one I use the most is associating the person's name with someone I already know. Now, two more important tips are to speak to more than one person and pay attention to body language and social cues, which an overwhelming majority of communication is nonverbal. Pay
attention.
Now that you have all of my tips, tricks, and secrets, get out there and practice. Next thing you know, you'll be able to start and carry on a conversation like PRO!
Alpha M. POST of the
WEEK
Trying on the recently purchased black leather jacket!
This post came from Alpha M. Consulting Facebook group which features all types of engagement- from fitness and style, to grooming and dating. Want to be part of the action? We'd love to have you. Join in the conversation ALPHA M.
FACEBOOK GROUP
IAmAlphaM Week in Review
We Want to Hear from YOU!
Do you have any input, suggestions, or ideas for this newsletter? Is there anything else you'd like to see? We'd love to hear. Send an email to info@iamalpham.com
