I have been on a self-improvement odyssey. It started a while back, and I don’t see it ending anytime soon. With this self-improvement, I started thinking about all the people in my life that have had the most significant impacts. Sure, there are a ton of people who have had positive impacts on my life – through love, support, and encouragement. But, the people on whom I am focusing are
those who impacted my life negatively or people that I have affected negatively. For one reason or another, they have hurt me, or I have hurt them.
Certain people in my life I haven’t treated very well, and I started thinking about them and took action. I reached out to these people that I identified as owing an apology. I looked back to high school to the present day.
I feel like I definitely treat people better today, and I think about my past actions and how they’ve impacted people. But the craziest thing is that other than getting a call from me decades later to apologize for something I did at school, they didn't receive the gift I did. I received an incredible amount of relief, and it’s been unbelievable. Each apology was a weight lifted, making me
feel amazing. Apologizing has been like a drug because the majority of people that I reached out to were incredibly gracious. They said I didn’t need to apologize but accepted the apology nonetheless.
As the quote says, apologizing doesn’t mean you were right, and I was wrong. It simply means that I value our relationship more than my ego. Think about it – how many times are we in a relationship with someone where you want or have to be correct. I used to, but now I’m like, “I’m sorry!” because that’s just the way I am.
People often don’t apologize because they’re afraid of what that would mean and how it would impact their ego. People can be prideful and rather risk a relationship… a friendship… than actually expressing they’re sorry for whatever reason. People have a tough time bringing themselves to say those two simple words: I’m sorry.
Man, those words are so powerful to BOTH people. And there’s another piece of this self-improvement odyssey. It’s a challenging route to forgiveness. Apologizing is intoxicating, but nothing is as freeing as learning to forgive someone for wronging you. It’s been one of the most challenging steps I have to take, but it’s something you have to learn how to do. You don’t just automatically know forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse or dismiss the behavior. What's done is done, and you can’t undo what’s been done. BUT forgiveness prevents their behavior from breaking your heart. Embrace the forgiveness philosophy by truly understanding, acknowledging, and accepting. Forgive them for the hurt, but most importantly, forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Once you do that,
you will be amazed at how better you feel. And you will start to heal, and things will get brighter.
Getting to this place of forgiveness is not easy, and the more that someone has done to you, the harder it is. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, as the quote says. And it’s so true. You’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it to feel better and live a more productive, happier, and healthier life. Harboring anger and resentment take so much more energy than forgiveness. Trust me, once you start apologizing and forgiving, you will feel what I
feel.
The 1st part is to apologize to someone that you have wronged. Don’t wait. Do it today by reaching out and saying you’re sorry. It doesn’t take much effort, and those two little words make such a difference – if not for them, for you. You will feel so much better. The 2nd part is to forgive someone who has wronged you. This is more challenging, but focus on someone who has
done something bad to you that you harbor resentment toward. Learn to let it go and forgive them. You will heal. You’re worth it!
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Another upgrade in life. Got a license and a bike...because I wanted to!
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