A time and place exists for practically everything. And that is why I was surprised and dismayed by a discussion among members of the Alpha M. group. A member, who had been seeking advice in past posts, asked, “What’s with the sarcastic replies when people are looking for honest opinions and
advice?” I assumed members would understand that sarcasm is not a good idea in an environmentseeking advice and support – why?
Sarcasm is not humor. It's hostility that makes people feel
bad.
Some members continued to defend the use of sarcasm when answering member’s requests for legitimate advice. Someone also said that members are "free to say what they want” -- which they aren’t as the group is structured around spoken & unspoken rules. Look, if somebody is a true gentleman,
they're not going to present sarcasm when somebody's asking for legitimate advice. If somebody's a true alpha male, he’ll move on if he doesn’t have anything productive to say.
One member said that those offended by the sarcasm are being ‘sensitive’ and that they need ‘thicker skin’. I agree members shouldn't be 'sensitive' to advice that they requested; however, being sensitive to sarcasm is a different issue than not accepting constructive criticism or honest
advice. Being a dick is not being a gentleman (or alpha) or helpful for that matter. It's a waste of time.
Sarcasm is considered the lowest form of wit. Why? Because the goal is to laugh at someone's expense and/or make light of or be detrimental to someone. It can be mocking, disrespectful, and poking fun. Experts associate the word "cutting" with it. If wit is the goal, use true wit which
lifts people and is a positive action helping to energize others. Experts associate the word "levity" with this form of wit.
Back to social media comments, another member stated that if someone asks a ‘dumb question’ that the person should be put in ‘check’ with dumb responses and that this is a sign of ‘respect’. Presenting sarcasm is not presenting respect. Respect is scrolling on if you don't have any
useful advice to provide – or if you don’t have anything nice to say for that matter. Sarcasm is indicative that someone doesn’t have the nerve to speak frankly or they lack the ability to act diplomatically regardless of how ‘dumb’ they may find someone’s questions, posts, or comments.
Some members pointed out that they think sarcasm is ‘funny’ and that it’s just a ‘joke’. Sarcasm is not humor. Well-developed wit is humor that is also insightful, showing us the world in a slightly new way. It’s artful, which is in direct contrast to ‘biting sarcasm’. Effective
communication is key... and those resorting to low blows, jokes, and sarcasm are not effectively communicating. Sarcasm is passive-aggressive speech, positioning itself as ‘neutral’ but the underlying foundation is ‘aggressive’ both at the same time.
Sarcasm derives from Greek words that mean “tearing of the flesh.” Sarcasm is antagonism disguised as humor which is why sarcasm doesn’t feel good, is disturbing, and feels destructive. Further, for some individuals who
identify as highly sensitive, sarcasm is particularly cutting.
Constructive criticism is positive and should be utilized when presented in a kind and productive manner. However, sarcasm as I've seen it presented in this group has not been kind or productive. Diplomacy when presenting criticism makes the advice palatable; whereas, sarcasm is
predominately not received positively or as tactful.
Most people respond negatively to sarcasm whether they show it or not.
Okay, now let’s take this from another angle. What can you do when someone responds to you inappropriately with sarcasm? You may feel diminished, disparaged, or disrespected, which you have a right to feel this uneasiness. Sarcasm loses its edge
when
Point out how the comments make you feel, making sure to point out that you can take a joke but not when it’s enveloped in antagonism.
Sarcasm is not amusing banter; however, wit is amusing banter. Encourage the latter.
Don’t become emotional, don’t respond with sarcasm, and don’t back down.
Defuse the situation by correcting him with clear facts.
You can also choose to ignore it and walk away.
Kindness is key, and sarcasm is not kind when somebody seeking advice (even advice that you may deem as 'dumb' or not worthy of your earnest attention). Being a gentleman is expected not only in this group, but in society as a whole. I encourage genuine interaction with your
communication. Get to the heart of the person with whom you are communicating, and remember that the words you choose do make a difference.
Alpha M. POST of the
WEEK
Fellow Alphas. Today I had the privilege to see our Alpha M on an ad in the gym. It got me thinking that I can’t think of a time in my life that Aaron Marino hasn’t inspired me to do greater. Immediately after watching the ad in its entirety, I went straight to the bench and picked up 135 for the first time AND ACTUALLY HIT IT. We are so lucky to have
Aaron on our side guiding us to be manly, strong, and good looking alphas.
Moving on from this, I have been struggling in the gym recently with heavy weights. I weigh 150 and am 6’1, but I am barely throwing up 135. Truly insulting, however I’ve been working on my grip strength and forearm mass, which has helped me with my push-up and sit-up strength. Anyway, any recommendations from my fellow Alpha gym rats? How can I throw
up more weight in a shorter time? Or should I head to the gym right now and throw up 145 and not be a scaredy cat?
Thank you fellow alphas, and thank you Aaron Marino for guiding me and helping me throughout the last 3 years of my life. You are truly an inspiration, and I will always want to be just like you.
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