Shamed for trying to be a better man

Published: Sat, 07/16/22

Shamed for trying to be a better man

Health shaming is a thing, and I experience it every so often. And it strikes me as odd. I advocate eating proteins, grains, and veggies, but I like an occasional pizza slice. It's not that unusual, is it? As I wrote in a previous newsletter, the road to healthy eating hasn't been easy. My southern-cooking wife had me packing on the pounds in the not-so-distant past.

When you're living a clean and healthy lifestyle, some people may give you a hard time-- they may even try to shame you. My healthy lifestyle (which consists of eating healthfully, working out daily, and not consuming alcohol) has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion. I've been told that I make people feel "uncomfortable" when I go out to eat with them or when we're at a party.

Eating healthy means that my healthy choices are blatantly apparent when I go out to a restaurant with others, dine at someone's home, or have others at my house to dine. I don't use dressing on my salad; I prefer vinegar instead. I'll ask for either light cheese or no cheese on my pizza, and I will request no oil or butter on my broccoli, to name a few.

I don't apologize for the way that I eat. I also don't draw attention to it by discussing my choices (or theirs); however, many people choose to directly comment that they think the way I eat is "weird." Well, I have news for them: I believe that the way they eat is incredibly weird. I can't even imagine eating as unhealthy as 99% of the people I see.

I'm urged to "live a little," I am told that salads are "no fun," and I am pressed to take part in the "fries for the table." Nevertheless, I stick with my healthy food choices. But I get it. This pressure can make sticking with healthful eating even more difficult for some of you. Remember, when leading a healthy lifestyle, you'll ruffle some feathers. Does that mean that you should stop with your healthy lifestyle? No. It means that you need to stay strong.

If you think those around you are trying to wreck your healthful eating, you're not alone. A Stanford University study showed that over 75% had not experienced support from friends or family regarding dietary restraints. That's astounding. Believe in your healthy lifestyle and stick to your guns. Be your own support system.

But just like a virus, how you eat and take care of yourself is contagious. Typically, we eat like our social group because that's the norm for the group. Studies have demonstrated that people eating together chew at the same rate, unconsciously copying their fellow diners. Further, if you hang with a group that loves to over-indulge, you might follow suit as it's the standard. BUT CHECK THIS OUT-- this copying is reciprocal. Those at the table may pass on dessert if you do. Your healthy living actions can positively impact on those dining with you.

The same goes for drinking alcohol -- people feel the need to drink when others are drinking or if they've been offered a drink. This social pressure is standard, as you'll see this playing out at parties, bars, and even current pandemic Zoom drinks with buddies. Regardless of the setting, you don't HAVE to drink. I often say 'no' or choose another tactic such as nursing my drink, getting a non-alcoholic beverage that looks like a cocktail or volunteering to be the DD. Others may follow your lead as well.

'Being pressured' brings up the next subject: not every relationship was designed to fulfill all of your specific relationship needs. When you've embraced a healthy live style, you should welcome new relationships into your life that value what you value, such as fostering relationships at the gym and exercise classes. Old relationships don't need to be disregarded; however, surround yourself with those who make you feel good about yourself, support you, and understand where you're coming from (and vice versa).

From what I heard on the radio the other day, the number one way to prevent cancer is to maintain a healthy weight. It's not rocket science. We are supposed to be eating healthy and in moderation, and we're not supposed to overindulge in alcohol. No matter what people say or try to make you feel, you're absolutely not doing anything wrong. You are merely eating healthy and not wanting to be hammered whenever you're around other people!

So, regarding living a healthy lifestyle, I would like to propose that differences be viewed with an open mind and kindness. We all have the right to choose what's best for ourselves without shame. And if it doesn't look appetizing, be grateful, not spiteful. You're not the one eating it! But suppose you are the one choosing that healthy food option or modifying an item off of the restaurant menu. In that case, you're being a good influence on others around you and setting a healthy lifestyle example. Don't let the haters get you down.

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