You think I'm sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
Published: Sat, 05/30/20
Think I'm Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend to
Care!
There is a time and place for practically everything. And that is why I was surprised and dismayed by a discussion among members of the Alpha M. group this past week. A member, who had been seeking advice in past posts, asked, “What’s with the sarcastic replies when people are looking for
honest opinions and advice?” I assumed members would understand that sarcasm is not a good idea in this group environment – why?
Sarcasm is not humor. It's hostility that
makes people feel badly.
Some members continued to defend the use of sarcasm when answering member’s requests for legitimate advice. Someone also said that members are "free to say what they want” -- which they aren’t as the group is structured around spoken & unspoken rules. Look, if somebody is a true gentleman, they're
not going to present sarcasm when somebody's asking for legitimate advice. If somebody's a true alpha male, he’ll move on by if he doesn’t have anything productive to say.
One member said that those offended by the sarcasm are being ‘sensitive’ and that they need ‘thicker skin’. I agree members shouldn't be 'sensitive' to advice that they requested; however, being sensitive to sarcasm is a different issue than not accepting constructive criticism or honest advice. Being a
dick is not being a gentleman (or alpha) or helpful for that matter. It's a waste of time.
Sarcasm derives from Greek words that mean “tearing of the flesh.” Sarcasm is antagonism disguised as humor which is why sarcasm doesn’t feel good, is disturbing, and feels destructive. Further, for some individuals who identify as
highly sensitive, sarcasm is particularly cutting.
Most people respond negatively to sarcasm
whether they show it or not.
Another member stated that if someone asks a ‘dumb question’ that the person should be put in ‘check’ with dumb responses and that this is a sign of ‘respect’. Presenting sarcasm is not presenting respect. Respect is scrolling on if you don't have any useful advice to provide – or if you don’t have
anything nice to say for that matter. Sarcasm is indicative that someone doesn’t have the nerve to speak frankly or they lack the ability to act diplomatically regardless of how ‘dumb’ they may find someone’s questions, posts, or comments.
Some members pointed out that that they think sarcasm is ‘funny’ and that it’s just a ‘joke’. Sarcasm is not humor. Well-developed wit is humor that is also is insightful, showing us the world in a slightly new way. It’s artful, which is in direct contrast to ‘biting sarcasm’. Effective communication is
key... and those resorting to low blows, jokes, and sarcasm are not effectively communicating. Sarcasm is passive-aggressive speech, positioning itself as ‘neutral’ but the underlying foundation is ‘aggressive’ both at the same time.
Constructive criticism definitely can be positive and should be utilized when presented in a kind and productive manner. However, sarcasm as I've seen it presented in this group has not been kind or productive. Diplomacy when presenting criticism makes the advice palatable; whereas, sarcasm is
predominately not received positively or as tactful.
Okay, now let’s take this from another angle. What can you do when someone responds to you inappropriately with sarcasm? You may feel diminished, disparaged, or disrespected which you have a right to feel this uneasiness. Sarcasm loses its edge
when
Point out how the comments make you feel, making sure to point out that you can take a joke but not when it’s enveloped in antagonism.
Sarcasm is not amusing banter; however, wit is amusing banter. Encourage the latter.
Don’t become emotional, don’t respond with sarcasm, and don’t back down.
Defuse the situation by correcting him with clear facts.
You can also choose to ignore it and walk away.
Kindness is key, and sarcasm is not kind when somebody seeking advice (even advice that you may deem as 'dumb' or not worthy of your earnest attention). Being a gentleman is expected not only in this group, but in society as a whole. I encourage genuine interaction with your
communication.
Get to the heart of the person with whom you
are communicating, and remember that the words you choose do make a difference.
Alpha M. POST of the
WEEK
Let’s all post our first outfit we had when we got into style to our most recent one. This was from 2011-2020 stay dapper guys! Let’s see some before and after
photos!
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