I finally BROKE UP with this TOXIC friend 😟

Published: Sat, 01/16/21

Get These People Out of Your Life -- NOW

Last week we talked about breaking up with bad habits. Now we need to talk about breaking up with the toxic people in our lives. To get you off on the right foot this year, I want to make sure you are getting the support, positivity, and uplifting experiences that you NEED in your life. I am referring to who you surround yourself with, which is one of the most accurate indicators of your success as a man.

Who we hang out with is so incredibly influential to your success and how you evolve. If you surround yourself with awesome people, you can reach your awesome-ness potential. If you are hanging out with losers, you can be being drug down into their toxicity. As Albert Einstein once said, "Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution."

So today, I want to help you identify the toxic people (aka losers) in your life. Take the Toxic People Test, which will reveal a list of toxic people in your life. First, grab a piece of paper and a pen, then proceed with the test below.

TOXIC PEOPLE TEST
When answering each question, list ALL of the names friends, family members, coworkers, and colleagues. Take some time to think about each question and answer honestly.

Who always focuses on the negative?
Who is always about themselves, never about you?
Who has drama & bad crap follow them?
Who points out all of your flaws?
Who makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them?
Who is jealous, envious, or resentful when you do something great?
Who pushes you to do things that you don’t want to do (peer pressure)?
Who lacks drive and ambition?
Who exhibits self-destructive behavior (excessive drinking, drugs, sleeping around)?
Who is an energy vampire (exhausting to hang out with)?
Who talks about others behind their back?

After taking the test, you have identified toxic 'losers' in your life. You may not be able to immediately remove yourself from their life. Still, you can gradually remove yourself, reduce contact, and spend less time with them. For example, with friends, try spending time with people who are more productive and positive. With family members, you may need to spend less time with them. With a boss, you may need to find another job.

You deserve nothing but the best. You need to be around those who love you, encourage you, and lift you up. If they are dragging you down, you need to shut the door and love yourself to say ‘no, you don’t get to treat me that way.' They won’t change, and they won’t be the person you don’t want them to be.

I considered him to be a true friend ....

But he kept hurting my feelings, and I kept believing his bullshit. I wanted to be his friend, but it's a messed-up situation. I am now embarrassed that I let someone treat me this way. You want to believe that they didn't mean to hurt you, but how many times does a person need to hurt your feelings before you have had enough?

Well, when I watched my own video about toxic people, I felt like a hypocrite. That's when I finally had to say enough is enough. If someone is continuously acting the same way, are they ever going to change? No! They aren't necessarily a 'bad person,' but they are bad for you. And it's okay to want more and to expect more out of the relationship. Toxic people aren’t necessarily ‘bad’ people —but you are collateral damage to their issues. They are toxic, however, and it’s okay that you acknowledge that.

I had been dealing with this toxic relationship for years — now it’s been 11-months since I've last talked to him. I feel so much better now. I just can’t be friends with him — not even to talk to. If you have someone like this, where you are giving more than you’re getting, remove them. It takes will-power not to give them another chance and patch things up. You have to honest with yourself to realize the person really isn’t your friend.

Sometimes this toxic person may be someone super close like my friend mentioned above— but you still have to figure out how to remove the toxic energy. It may mean a big decision, but to be emotionally stable and happy, you can’t be around people that make you feel bad about yourself. You should invest in and embrace relationships that supportive and encouraging. Negative people need to get out of your life.

Wash your hands of toxic people. If you give your distance to provide yourself perspective, you’ll see that they’re causing more damage than good. You have one life to live — make sure the people you invest in are treating you like you treat them. Not everyone is right for you, so run from toxic people because you deserve better. Send them on their way with love & compassion so you can move on with your own life with positive & productive people.

MY PROMISE -- if you eliminate toxic people from your life and spend time uplifting, motivated, & positive who make you feel good about yourself, you will be amazed at how productive & successful you become.

Alpha M. POST of the WEEK

Today’s look: I’m wearing a white button down from Monlando bought on Amazon for $24.99, but now it’s $26.99; Calvin Klein slim fit trousers in grey for $32.99 also from Amazon; my socks are just regular every day socks in a bright blue (I can’t remember the brand). Finally, my shoes these are brand new Florsheim Postino (cap-toe Oxfords), and I actually got these from ebay. These Postino’s are not black -- oh no no, these beautiful shoes are navy blue. I recently learned how versatile navy can really be, so I decided to give them a try. I was not disappointed. I look good, and I feel like a million bucks.

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