Increasingly I’ve noticed a lot of alpha posers and fake alphas out there, especially online and infiltrating social
media. They are the ones hiding behind their keyboard -- throwing authenticity, kindness, and confidence out the window. I don’t know why this is happening at such an alarming rate when it comes to communicating online. Perhaps these same posers online are posers in-person too – but I do think that being behind a computer screen emboldens people to say things they normally wouldn’t face-to-face.
At any rate, simple respect and good manners seem to evade even the nicest of guys, making us look like Neanderthals as a gender. With that, I will give you my two cents regarding this lack of social etiquette in hopes of turning some of these posers and fake alphas into true alphas -- aka gentlemen.
Damn, I have seen some super rude comments under my YouTube videos as well as elsewhere on social
media. BE POLITE GUYS! I see ill-mannered people daily when I am out-and-about. As challenging as it may be, always remember to be polite even when the other person may not be so polite himself. Rising above a tense situation and being the bigger man by showing control and a sense of etiquette says volumes about you.
I have seen and heard some comments that would make your skin crawl – KEEP IT CLEAN! As an admin of the Alpha M.
group, I don’t hesitate to delete those offensive comments. There is no need for the explicit vernacular, nor is there a need for profanity. Whether or not you’re in public or mixed company (meaning women, seniors, youth, etc.), don’t spout expletives. It’s just bad taste to throw f-bombs in front of anyone because it shows an offensive and disrespectful side of you that makes people uneasy. You can also be perceived as someone who has a limited vocabulary who can’t express
himself adequately. What may seem harmless can potentially harm your image a lot.
Ugh – this one really irks me! When people laugh at those who make mistakes or get hurt ... when
someone puts a laughing emoji to someone's honest and earnest post asking for advice… when a person is cruel, insensitive, thoughtless … or when someone just flat-out says some ugly stuff.
Case in point: a teen asking for advice received the laughing emoji as 70% of the reactions to the post. Uncool. We are better than this, gentlemen.
Too many times, I see this play out in the Alpha M. group. You know I have preached being a gentleman, but I guess some just don’t embrace being a gentleman … being kind, courteous, and thoughtful. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and respond the way you would want to be responded. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
Say thank you. Say thank you to anyone and everyone who is courteous to you. Whether online or
in-person, show your appreciation. Thank the guy who gave your post a compliment or advice; your restaurant server who refills your water; the cashier who hands you change; the support desk who spent an hour explaining your new app… seriously, thank everyone in every situation who you should extend appreciation and respect to. It’s free to say and brings you good things in return: a smile, a reciprocated 'thank you', a 'you’re welcome', maybe even a date -- but most importantly, it makes you
feel good about yourself for doing the right thing.
Keep your cool. Woah, I have seen some threads in the Alpha M group go from 0 to 60 in seconds.
Threads can escalate to rude and unkind for almost no reason – and it’s all unnecessary. Whether giving advice or receiving the advice, make sure you are a gentleman!
But anytime in life, if someone does say something that rubs you the wrong way, rise above a touchy situation and exercise control of your temper -- this speaks volumes about you. Anyone can go off, but the guy who can keep it together displays an emotionally balanced quality, which bleeds over into many arenas and says you’re the guy for the job, the date, whatever. Nothing’s wrong with getting angry, as long as it’s handled properly. Use your words and express
yourself without being explosive.
So, to reiterate what I went over in my video series "How to Be a Gentleman" (this one was specifically how to speak like a gentleman), adhere to the following whether online or in-person:
Say ‘please’ whenever asking for anything.
Say ‘thank you’ whenever you receive anything.
Do not use profanity regularly.
Never talk down to anybody.
Do not gossip about others.
Speak in a positive manner.
Do NOT say anything hateful about anyone! Whether sexist, racist, homophobic, bigoted, it’s disgusting!
Wait to speak and do not interrupt.
Know when to shut up.
Kill 'em with kindness, gentleman. And remember, what you put out there, you'll get back. Live with integrity and purpose. And for those assholes that are out there who don't and won't respect you regardless what you do– ignore them!
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