Exchanging dignity for popularity 😳

Published: Sat, 06/26/21

Exchanging dignity for popularity 😳

Now we speak a lot about character and confidence, but there’s a word that keeps gnawing at me: dignity. Dignity is essentially having enough self-respect to conduct yourself with diplomacy and discipline in unfavorable situations. And that self-respect is enormously valuable because if you don’t respect yourself, nothing else matters.

Without self-respect, being your best is an impossibility because it determines how you handle yourself in every situation-- not to mention how you handle the other people that interact with you. Now, in order to truly have dignity and self-respect, you also need to have a healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is different than self-respect because it speaks of how you feel emotionally about yourself.

So when I look around social media, the Internet, television, you name it, I am super concerned that we have forgotten what it means to have dignity. The common understanding of what is considered appropriate has been drastically morphed over the years. Just log on to any social media site and you can immediately see the bullying and spewing of disrespectful rhetoric about race, politics, religion and everything in between. This transformation seems to be directly correlated to social media.

Most notably, we are living in a ‘selfie society’, and what concerns me the most is the constant seeking of reassurance -- which ultimately won’t lead to being happy. It’s comparable to a junkie who is addicted to drugs – each time someone posts, it’s like, “Whoa!” and then he’s chasing that first time feeling of getting a lot of likes and positive comments. But what happens when he doesn’t? He starts questioning himself.

Developing self-respect is crucial. You should never lose sight of the fact that you need to feel like you are somebody because you were a man of principle, and not because others tell you that you're somebody. You are somebody because you are a man of your word and responsibility! And from that, you love yourself, you believe in yourself, and you know that you bring value which are the cornerstones of self-esteem. This is not achieved by how many friends, subscribers, followers, or likes you have on social media.

What matters, and don’t lose sight of this, is being a good person with good character and DIGNITY. I know that the concept of dignity is a little bit abstract, but hopefully you get the point of this message. All I'm saying is that you need to feel fulfilled because of the person you are, not because of the reinforcement that you're getting from other people. Forming your sense of self around how other people define you is not healthy, and this is a danger that we as a society are facing.

Be aware of what you post, how you respond, and what you read. Social media already takes up much of our time and energy, don’t let it take your dignity.

Social media is not going to get any better, so we need to take the situation upon ourselves and make sure NOT to rely on other people to make ourselves feel whole. We should, instead, build our own self-esteem (emotions) and know we’re respectable (actions) people. These are not built on what other people say but from belief in yourself and love of yourself which will translate into your daily actions, aka your dignity (self-control). This dignity translates into being a gentleman ... but we’ll save that discussion for another newsletter

Author's Note

The reason I started posting videos in 2008 was simply to help people. I had no idea where YouTube would lead, but the last 13 years have been amazing. It’s been incredible. But, I owe you a massive apology. Since the pandemic started, my direction and goals changed. I have published a ton of videos about women and related topics. I am sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness for going off the rails.

I became embarrassed about some of the thumbnails — I was chasing clicks and views. I do believe dating and sex should be talked about, and there’s a way to talk about it positively. But I went down the rabbit hole, and it was too much — I lost focus and went off the rails. I am sorry if I disappointed you. I have disappointed myself.

The focus needs to help you — going forward, I will choose what is right rather than views. I am going to try to do better, and I will talk about what needs to be talked about. I will be getting out of the YouTube culture of ‘views’ and ‘if you don’t get views, you suck’. I have to get out of that unhealthy mindset and be true to myself. I want to be a positive role model. I am the man today because of you — you have made me a better person. Today, I will stop letting you down and correct the course. I apologize and thank you for supporting me.

Alpha M. POST of the WEEK

I’m here to bring back the retro look of my younger days! Notice the high-waisted pleated trousers and paired with a simple pinstriped T-shirt. Just a very simple and easy look to put together and wear.

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